Letters from America -Dmitry Sokolenko

Americans! I would like to share with you my own, possibly misguided thoughts on flag-burning. I believe it’s not at all OK. But of course, as a Soviet playwright, I can imagine a situation when it would almost be normal. For example, if America were conquered… well, let’s say… by Mongolia or Sumeria or New Zealand or by Martians. Personally I can most easily imagine the US being defeated by Sweden! With the Swedes in control here, all cars except Saabs would be banned, the radio would constantly play ABBA about “Happy New Year,” everyone would be required to drink only FIKA, only the books of August Strindberg would be found in all the libraries and for dinner everyone would eat meatballs with cranberry jam from IKEA. There would be a ban on smoking cigars! Only SNUS would be allowed! All whiskey would be poured into the rivers and oceans… in bars only AKVAVIT would be served. Then the aggressive Swedes, led decisively by Greta Thunberg, would build special and eco-friendly fire-safe spots, where Americans could bring their flags for burning. This would be a more or less OK situation, in my opinion. By the way, I have difficulty imagining anyone who doesn’t like SAAB! After a correctly organized flag burning process and after everyone’s hands are washed, each participant receives the Nobel Peace Prize! By the way, Barack Obama has the chance to receive the prize for a second time!  But until the USA is conquered, I consider burning one’s own flag a strange act. I’m not talking about pseudo-patriotism or politics. My opinion is that politicians are far from angels, except for one, who was certainly the least offensive of all — Caligula! But he’s long been in Heaven, and all the succeeding politicians have followed a much worse path than that Roman emperor. Let’s not talk about politics. I think the flag should be looked upon as a symbol of one’s homeland and acceptance of one’s homeland as it is at any given moment in time. This is a big step in acceptance and understanding of the World in its entirety. I won’t even make a list of great Americans who might be dismayed by flag burning… Forrest Gump is certainly one of them. I wish all a happy cigar from Arthur Avenue and a magical time with whiskey from Massachusetts accompanied by music from Louis Armstrong…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *