Bumper Graffiti/ Stephen Sims

Encounter #1

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Traveling home this evening, a large truck made a right on red as I approached the said intersection in the outside lane, green right of way and no other traffic. The right on red was perfectly executed, by that I mean they left the cross street in the outside lane and entered my street to proceed onward in the same direction as me in the outside lane. Well done!

Now the street I was traveling on has a little urban planning knuckleheaded design which places two intersections about 50 yards apart. The first intersection a 2 lane cross street, the second an 8 lane major road and the road I’m traveling on 4 lanes, 2 of which are left turn only at the 8 lane intersection ( don’t worry, no test later, don’t get? move on to the juice!).

Okay back to narrative. Truck – perfectly executed right on red. Me – chill, alarms at ready. THEN it becomes apparent the trucks final objective it to execute …… ha ha wise guy, no, not me……..but the left hand turn coming up in 50 yards. They did they most appropriate and logical thing for one on the path. THEY STOPPED DEAD IN THE LANE. Now I get it, they were being polite. I was there first. And they were probably sure I was making the same left turn, I mean seriously who in their right mind would ever consider the path less taken. Now being polite they stopped dead 💀 in their lane so as not to get in my way as I arrived and got into one of the 2 lanes which then flow into Lemming Lane. My reality was a huge truck has come to a compete 100 feet in front of me for no apparent reason on a wet pavement commute………….

Ha you mere neophyte! No status of Bumper Graffiti Master for you! I stop with enough room between us to pass only a hair and give them stunning horn crescendo!

Words by Stephen Sims

Stephen is host of Not Weird, Queer, a weekly 2 hour show that focuses on the music of the LGBTQ community. Steve began his radio career in New York in 2004 on The Quest of Life and has been building his international music library ever since. Originally from Seattle he now resides in Portland.

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